Heart Songs – on “being a boomer”

my voice

my voice

sing

sing

sing my soul.

I want to share. I want to express.

choke. swallow. stop. how? with who? where? in what language!? gulp! gosh darn!

So. I have been loving a new special time in my life: Thursday afternoons I take a voice lesson.

Its been amazing to feel my voice move inside me, feel it soar or crack, push it up or down, coo softly, or wail with delight. To feel the many sides of singing, the many tones and colors of my voice.

My dad, well he is a boomer.

And I am not talking about a baby boomer. I always say I can pick him out of a crowd just by his voice. If we ever arrived late to church with mom, all we would have to do is wait for the hymn sing, and I could find dad in seconds. His voice is definitive, operatic, confident, strong, goosebump worthy, and… well, LOUD.

One thing my voice teacher has been working with me on is singing softer. I always tend to go to the loud parts, to go to the fullest feeling of the singing. I think it is because I want to FEEL myself singing – feel like Im really doing it! Maybe singing loudly comes from a need to feel the limits, to know its there… my voice. To feel that I exist, that I can shout, that I can shake a room or vibrate in my body.

my first voice lesson

So in my Thursday afternoon lessons, among many other things that I am learning, I am being taught to sing softly. And isn’t it nice. Yes it is.

Its a new feeling. ….I do have to be reminded again and again. “Softer Ashley.”

So here on this blog, my heart whispers. I listen, I speak, I write …not too loudly.

Sometimes i feel it isn’t enough. I feel limited. “I should be writing in spanish,” I think. But up until now, it is flowing in english. So I might as well not force too much, and just let it out how it comes.

Flow. Sing. Coo. Oh, I am so happy for my dad and his booming ways. He is the best boomer I know! And how my heart longs to boom onto my tongue and be able to fill a room with eager listeners, to make a difference, to shout from the rooftops.

but then I realize something.

something big…

maybe I can’t be a boomer to do what my heart is calling for.

maybe its more the gentle whispers that will touch hearts,

that will land in the ears of the sleeping dreamer

that will pull out the desires of radiant ladies

that will bring the mind back to the body

that will guide

that will open

that will support

that will enfuse

that will wait

that will nourish

Softly Ashley.  Softly.

So friends…What is something this weekend, that you can do softly? Do share, I would love to hear your songs.

Much love,

Ashley

p.s. Thank you Jen for all your loving teachings!

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a love letter, to you

A love letter, to you from me:

You are powerful beyond measure.

listen to your heart
become a portal for your desires,
a channel for your true voice
a pathway, for your own feet

Feel your way.

Feel your beauty.

You are wiser than you know. Brighter than you think.

Keep going. Keep searching. Keep pursuing.

With breath. With ease. With flow. With faith you will find.

Beautiful heart dreamer, beautiful listener, beautiful friend, partner, sister, brother…

There is no one like you on this earth.

There is no one with the same story, the same gifts, the same uniqueness, the same journey that you have.

You are powerful beyond measure…

when you believe in yourself.

You can do it.

You can do it with love.

with love in your heart,

and gratitude for this exact moment where you are now.

Whether it is at the top of the mountain, or in a dark room looking at this glowing screen.

Because where you are is perfect.

Just start where you are.  And nothing more.

One baby step.  One phone call.  One post.  One connection.  One prayer.  One moment at a time.

You are.  I see you.  I see you so brightly.  I see your heart.

Thank you for being you.

with all my love.

your friend,

Ashley

I recently found this amazing artwork, and it moved me so much, it lead me to write the above love letter to you. Powerful blessings, love Ashley.

I'm so thankful to learn about the artwork of huebucket.
If you want to see more magical artwork you 
can visit their page here:

https://www.facebook.com/huebucket